Unwell
by justinewhitlock4eva
Summary: America has sunk into an irrepairable debt crisis forcing him to sell himself to China. After all his states are gone, what is a isolated person to do besides remember the past.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hi, I appreciate you reading this! I'm actually going to attempt to keep this ongoing now that I have time. This is kind of just about Alfred reminiscing on his past when he had his states. I hope you like!**

There are fifty doors in this house. Fifty one if you count each memory they hold. Each one contains faces I never will see again, thoughts of happiness, thoughts of betrayal, and thoughts of depression. Fifty- one doors in this dark, decaying house that hold memories of my past life. My name is Alfred F. Jones; I used to be the once great nation of America. Those days are over, now I'm to walk this earth alone and forever while my life is torn to shreds. To reminisce of the better days, think of the ones I loved that are gone from my life now. I stand alone; alone in a house full of fifty- one doors, portals to the past.

It happened in the year of 2013, a year after the world was supposed to end. But personally, it was to me a year to prepare for the end. The calendar stopped so people would be pre-prepared, for the true end. On December 31st, midnight, Russia declared war on America. It was out of nowhere; but they both scrambled for allies to fight this bloody battle.

It only lasted two months and was a short fight but very, very dirty. When it was over Russia apologized. It turned out they had a power struggle, and finally were able to contain the issue. Unfortunately, this forced my country deeper into the hell hole called debt.

Most of the money we needed to pay off we owed to china. China had started its own slowly increasing economic slump because of our inability to pay him back. His boss couldn't take anymore of our crap. I always knew it would somehow end like this but I wasn't really prepared. Though quite frankly, I don't believe you can ever be prepared for the death of your country.

That crisp spring morning china showed up on my door step, more solemn then I had seen him in a long time. One would think I would put up a fight to keep my country together; there was such a slim possibility that I could pull through, there was no point to waste more money and destroy more lives. "Alfred, I have no choice but to take control of your lands. I'm very sorry and wish it hadn't come to this, aru~" I recall looking away, tears in my eyes, but trying to hold them back and be brave like Arthur told me when I was a child. But it was hard, oh so terribly hard to surrender my country.

I turned back to face the Asian nation, "I know Yao, I know why, and I can't say I didn't see this coming because I did. I'll go get the documents". A few of the treacherous tears broke past the barricades as I walked of to get all the documents. Everything after that is just a blur to me now; I remember the tears, fury, disappointment and slight relief of my people. The only conclusion I can come up with for the relief is the fact we were out of debt now.

No one would talk to me, not even my states. They only shot me looks that clearly showed their anger, disappointment, and that they thought of me as a traitor. My life went on like this for almost a year, then one day China came to talk to me. "Alfred, you being under my rule hasn't helped my economic crisis. If anything instead of making it better it's becoming worse." Yao paused and took a breath, then looked at Alfred for a sign to continue. I nodded, "My boss and I have come to the decision that we are going to have to auction off your lands."

I wont deny this surprised me slightly, I all honesty it surprised me a lot. I'm not sure of what I thought would happen in all honesty, but never pictured this. It wasn't like It was possible for me to refuse, so I just swallowed my choked refusal and nodded. Before Yao had left the room I caught a worried look on his face, he shouldn't worry about me.

He had more at stake than I did at the moment, I could handle it; without a doubt. I sat alone in an empty corner of my room for what felt like months. I took note of everything about the room; I wasn't sure what would become of me as I was stripped of my states. I realized nothing, nothing, was perfect in the four days I sat in my corner.

The ceiling was not pure white, tainted by such a pale tinge of yellow you could barely tell. The patterns in the wood varied in color depending on the board, some were light and others were dark. On the upper left corner of my comforter there was a stain from when I spilt my first cup of tea. Arthur had given it to me and I had spit it out right away. The tea had been bitter and unsweetened, I was too young to 'appreciate the flavor' Arthur had responded handing me a napkin. The pillow on the right side of my bed sat up straighter the left.

Those were the type of things I noticed in that state I had sunken into, a depression of sorts.

I vaguely recall Yao coming in on the third day with a plate of food telling me the auction would be in two days. I probably stared at the plate of food on the side table, another imperfection, for an hour. Smelling the food, the hunger had caught up with me.

It gnawed on my insides and scratched them begging for relief. I chose to eat a little so I wouldn't pass out. 'Not that it would matter' I snorted internally. I slowly picked at the rice and steamed vegetables. After eating about half and drinking down the glass of water, I grabbed the blanket of the foot of my bed and went back to my corner.

The next day passed by uneventful, and dull as always. I tried to sleep that night, knowing the dreadful event that was to take place the next day. At first it wouldn't come, but I still stayed and tried. In the end sleep won out and I fell into a uneasy dreamland.

I dreamed about my states and who would most likely buy what. I laughed the next day remembering how everybody had locked Russia out thinking he'd buy the whole of it. I thought of this the whole time I was getting ready, trying to forget about the true purpose of the day.

I had put on my nice silk, light gray shirt, black slacks and a matching tie after taking a long cold shower. I had finished dressing about two hours before sunrise, three before the time we needed to leave. I wanted to apologize, beg for forgiveness, and wish my states luck, but I couldn't bare to upset either of us further.

The minutes dragged on only three had passed before I had finished getting ready. I knew I needed to say farewell to Delaware. He was my first official state, where my constitution was written. And Virginia, the first to face the English. They had a part of me no one else had.

I quietly crept out of my room to the north-eastern part of the house. I silently grabbed the handle of Delaware's door, and let out a deep breath before opening it. He sat there at his desk his face in his palms, hunched over a small piece of paper.

I noticed the slick trails from silent tears rolling down his cheeks as I approached closer. When I was within viewing range I noticed it wasn't a sheet of paper but a photo; the one of him, the first thirteen and me holding the Declaration of Independence. I rested a hand on his shoulder and I a soft voice told him, "I'm sorry, for everything. After everything we had all worked so hard for, all the suffering we had gone through. You don't have to forgive me, I will understand if you don't but I want you to know that I am sorry and I love you."

I could see him choke back his sobs that were threatening to break loose. This was the first time I've seen Delaware cry in the longest time. It hurt, left aching pains on my heart, I think I'll forever be scarred with the image of his face when he looked up at me in tears. "I know, this was bound to happen. But we were free, even if it wasn't for very long, we still were. And I forgive you."

I sunk down and wrapped him in a hug. We stayed like that for the longest while who knew when I would see my son, brother, friend, again. After a few peaceful moments I let go. "I need to go set things straight with Virginia." he just gave me a small, teary eyed smile and nodded encouragingly. "Go".

I left his room with a shinning flow of water leaking from my eyes. I trudged down a few more doors till I reached Virginias. I opened her door and was shocked. I felt terrible; her room was always so clean and organized. One would think a tornado had ripped through. There were picture albums, loose photos, hand written journal entries, and several documents littering the floor.

This was worse than Delaware's crying. Virginia was the first to join him and Arthur. She was a neat freak, a fiery, passionate girl. And this girl curled up against her headboard surrounded by this mess; was an emotional wreck, a broken heart and utter devastation.

No, I couldn't wake her; this was probably the first time she's slept in a month. All I could do was lay her down and cover her up. I leaned in and softly kissed her cheek, and even though she couldn't hear me I whispered to her. "Virginia, I'm so terribly sorry. I will always remember you, and I hope you can find it in that large heart of yours to forgive me. I love you, good luck."

No more words could come out of my throat it felt dry and cracked. I shut the door silently behind me and went back towards my room. On the way I passed the door to Texas' room. That was one person I couldn't face. No matter how childish it was, he could have been free from all of this if I had let him secede all those years ago.

It was too late now. And if he never forgave me I would understand. I hurried into my room before I had a breakdown in the hallway. I made it over to the wall and sunk down to the ground and cried. Actually cried; I cried for my people, the hope they had, my family, the lives they lost, and even though it was selfish, I cried for myself.

It was about thirty minutes before we had to leave. I hurried to the closet and pulled out another shirt, seeing the one I had been wearing was ruined. I quickly put it on and wiped away the tear stains.

There was a knock on the door then. "Alfred, it's time to go." Yao's voice floated through the door.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** Finally, a second chapter! This is a filler of sorts but it is necessary because I have decided to add a bit of a plot. Woo! Plot! Updates should become a bit more frequent now that my schedule has taken a turn for the slow.

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The auction passed in a nebulous fashion. I received different looks ranging from pity to unabashed glee, the later obviously being from the filthy Russian who put me here in the first place. He wasn't going to be allowed in, but he used his 'wonderful people skills' to get in. I was not supposed to have attended the actual auction, only the 'parties' before and after but Yao had provided me with a way in so I would at least know that my states were in good hands; well, in most cases. A few of the purchases had me seeing red; however, I had no power to prevent anything.

It seemed to me that every country was there, even those who would be unable to afford a purchase. Mexico's behavior towards me had shocked me because I always had thought of her as clingy and unstable nut she had shown up at the auction and bought Texas and New Mexico and they decided to keep a lose control over Texas, allowing it to have more of an alliance status. Mexico knew the Texans would not react well to a sudden governmental change, so she had told me that she had pleaded her case with her bosses. I remember her words clear as a bell too; "Just between us, I did this for your sake."

I couldn't look any of the states in the eye in my cowardice. They went one by one and many of them were purchased by their previous 'parents.' I felt like I was standing in a tunnel with a train racing towards me each time a state was sold or someone offered to buy a collection of states. When Alaska came forward a hushed silence fell across the room, many nations eyed her with lust because of the oil she possessed but were reserved because of their fear of Ivan. In the end Ivan was the one who ended up buying her, as well as: Washington, Oregon and half of California. He also bought Kansas for her sunflowers; selfish bastard.

France and Spain pooled together their resources and bought most of the Louisiana Purchase back, then divided it amongst themselves. England staked claim on almost all of the east coast save for a few states that offered no monetary benefits or were already purchased such as Maine.

Mattie took a lot of the northern states like Minnesota, probably for their hockey skills. Sweden had managed to finally get a piece of me and get Maine, and Finland took Ohio. The river ways were agreed upon as international waters to prevent conflict as was the air space. After the last state; Wyoming, had been sold Nations began to filter out until only the buyers remained in the room.

Arthur must have discovered my hiding place sometime during the sales because he walked directly to me after the final bid was made and embraced me tightly. A lone tear slid down the Brits cheek and I stopped it with my finger, barely holding on myself. "Bloody hell Alfred, what did you do to yourself?" It was more of a statement than a question because the answer was obvious, but I felt the need to answer it anyways. "I was stupid." It only took three words for me to realize three things; not only did I destroy myself, but those who were important to me, I was crying and so was England.

"W-why? Why did you have to do this? I'm going to miss you." Anger was evident in his voice at first but it quickly faded to sorrow. My arms wrapped themselves around the smaller man out of habit and I cried into his shoulder. It was several uneasy minutes before I voiced my reply in an unnaturally quiet voice, "I should have told you this a long time ago, and I may be around yet, like Gilbert! But at the same time I may die, so I am telling you now, Arthur. I love you."

The small blond looked up to me staring me straight in the eyes begging me to not say anymore because it would only cause to much pain yet as I regarded those misty green eyes intently I saw hope and that was enough for me. Our lips touched briefly in a bittersweet kiss and are embrace fell away, "come visit me, your kids. Whenever you want, come. Please." With that England turned away slowly, wiping his tears off his face and went to collect his newly reacquired 'colonies'. I could only watch and try to keep the tears at bay.

I watched and waited in one of the chairs located near the exit as the paperwork was all finalized. I still maintained a weak connection to the land though. Just not nearly as much connection as I had before and probably Gilbert had. In a sickening sense I felt free. It disgusted me to feel this way as I watched my life walk by with another being, leaving me desolate and empty.

The sun had sunk behind the horizon about two hours ago when Yao approached me with the somewhat morbid news. I stood quickly. "You are apparently going to live, all of your land has been sold but still, here you are. Congratulations on surviving your death. You have no obligations to stay here, but you are nobody now. Feel free to leave whenever you want."

I could sense reality finally start to reach my mind as an empty feeling settled in my stomach with Yao's blunt statement. I just turned my head and sat down. I don't quite know how long I remained slouched over in that chair but by the time I had finally found the strength to get up to leave, the maids had come and all the papers were gone. There was no sign that anything had taken place; similar to how there was no sign I had existed.

-2 days later-

The first two nights I found solace in the chilling alleyways as I walked the streets of D.C., heading out to the Virginia countryside where one of my houses was located. It was the largest of many and each state had a room there. When we had first declared independence from England my states and I built this house and we would add a room for every additional state from there.

It was late March now but unusually cold, snow still littered the ground in patchy blobs and a few pubs still displayed St. Patrick's Day decorations in their windows. People joked about the cold weather inside, all displaying jovial faces and having a good time despite the dissolution of their country. Unlike me, alone and stripped of all my earthly possessions. Okay maybe that is a bit of a hyperbole but still!

As I neared the city limits the amount of people decreased leaving me in welcome solitude. My feet began to ache and I pushed up my sleeve to glance at my watch; it read 1:22 A.M. "No wonder you hurt" I said to my legs and feet in a passive manner with a semblance of a smile. As I had seen so many others do, I stuck my arm out with my thumb up. There were not as many cars as I hoped for but the traffic on the highway should pick up within the hour seeing as most bars were closing and the graveyard shift was finishing up. I saw the tail lights of several Fords, Chevrolets, Civics, and Hondas pass and my eyes squinted a little as a dark blue Mercedes sped past, swerving a bit and suddenly flashed its break lights backing up slowly. I lifted my head and surveyed the vehicle for a moment before breaking out into a run. It was Arthur's car.

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**A/N: **Bit of USUK anyone? ;) Well I hope you liked it! States will get introduced in the next chapter. By the way, would you guys prefer shorter chapters or are these okay?


	3. The Old Dominion: Virginia

A/N: This is reallllly long. Sorry, I couldn't find a place to split it at. But from here on out it is going to be one state per a chapter. Most likely the 13 colonies will be first. I hope you guys are okay with this chapter (it was difficult for me) and sorry about any grammatical errors. It's not my strong point :/

Also, thank you so much for the reviews! I'm glad that this has some emotional factors to it. Thank you again, they really do help!

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"Alfred get in th-" "Al?" Arthur's voice was cut off by Virginia's slight drawl. Never in my life had I felt as many emotions as I did at that very moment, I think I felt every single one known to man. I took one look at Virginia's pleading eyes and England's stalwart expression and opened the rear passenger door cramming my tall frame into the small vehicle.

"Helen…" my voice trailed off, unsure of what to say next. Something told me now was not the time to talk to the girl; that would come later. "I'm sorry." I said as a crappy excuse for an apology and left it at that, leaving Arthur to fill in the void that speech left empty. "Alfred, we were on our way to your house…I take it that is where you intended to go?"

I frowned a bit at the tone England's voice held, it was distant and reserved. I knew it was all just a front put up so Helen wouldn't see that her 'new daddy' had a weak spot. "Yeah." My voice cracked, I hadn't drank anything for days nor had I spoke. The two in the front flinched at the sound. Not that I blame them, the way I used to talk was loud and boisterous, I was always excited about something and now here I am with my words that sound like nails on a chalk board.

I watched Virginia in the rearview mirror her brown curls framing her face, every few seconds she would subconsciously reach up to wipe away the tears from her blotchy cheeks. Even in the dark it was easy to see she had been crying. It was easy to see Arthur was restless. His eyes were bloodshot and he couldn't stop fidgeting.

I remember when I first found Virginia. _It was almost a year after England's settlers had survived their first winter, or as I like to call it The Starving Time. I was out and about with Arthur in the small city that had come forth. He had given me a few small coins and told me to go and purchase some parchment and two new quills so I could learn to write. I was rounding a corner, not paying much attention to anything around me just absorbing all the sights and sounds, when I bumped into her. She was smaller than me and had tight brown curls that hung about her face down to her shoulders. Her blue-green eyes stared up at me from the spot she had landed, her bread basket laid abandoned off to the side. _

_I watched her for a moment, head cocked and pondering the strange feelings that overcame me; before coming back to my senses and rushing to help her up. "I'm sorry miss! Here let me help you with that." Together we returned her baked goods to her basket and stood there awkwardly waiting for the other to say something, she frowned a little at my incapability to say something and began to walk away. "My name is Alfred, Alfred F. Jones. Who're you?" _

_The little girl stopped walking and faced me, "I'm Helen, no last name." _

"_Well that's weird." I grimaced. "Where's your momma?" I asked because surely she had to have a momma. All little kids did, I'm a country according to Iggy but I still have a momma, I just never see her anymore."No, I don't have a momma. Good day Alfred." And with that she marched straight into the forest, not to be seen again until much later, when the others showed up. _

"Alfred, we're here." I had to force myself out my memories. Virginia was the first out of the car leaving Arthur and I in an uncomfortable silence. "Why are you still here?" I had to ask. The question had been gnawing at my insides since I saw the car on the highway. England looked a little embarrassed as he answered. "Virginia and a few of the others… they needed to collect their things so we decided we would meet back here. You didn't talk to them did you?"

I felt my heart shatter. I had hoped to avoid that topic, yet here Arthur out of all people, was confronting me about it. "I talked to Delaware. I thought that maybe…maybe it would be easier." _Coward._ The word kept repeating itself in my brain. I knew where England was headed with this and I really didn't want to go there. I knew I had to talk to Virginia now but the others? It wouldn't be necessary.

"Alfred you dolt! You're being selfish. They're your children! Your states…there is a story behind each of how you got them. From a-" England paused and took a breath before continuing, "-Revolutionary War to Manifest Destiny to Imperialism, and here you are denying it like it will fix it, letting it all go like it doesn't even-" I couldn't take it anymore. If Arthur was trying to make me feel like common pond scum then he was quite successful.

"Shut up! I don't want to hear it! I'm not denying it, and I don't think you have a right to lecture me on parenting! All you know is how to tax people, force them to take care of what isn't theirs until they hate and then throw a fit because they're sick of you being an ass!" I don't think I had ever yelled at anyone (besides Ivan) like I just did. I know what I said was a little harsh but I was hurting. It doesn't give me a right to yell like I just did but Arthur was only causing reality to hurt more, I didn't need him out of all people, telling me what to do like a father would scold a child.

The look of shock on Arthur's face only served to heighten my guilt. The way his brow was furrowed and how his eyes were set wide proved to me that I really was the dirt bag he was making me out to be. I swung open the car door and bolted to the house. Taking an immediate left and running up a flight of stairs to Virginia's room. The door was almost knocked off its hinges in my hurry. Her yellow and white walls brought about a sense of irony when compared to the bleak outlook that loomed and the dark night that enveloped us all.

I quickly scanned her room and noted her absence but an ancient mirror caught my attention. The man standing there could not be me, slight stubble protruded from his chin from a lack of shaving and his blue eyes were bloodshot. The tears that seemed to have a continuous flow left trails through the dirt that was clinging to his face, his hair was greasy and hung in his eyes. Glasses sat askew on his nose and his dress clothes were disheveled, deeply creased and stained in some places.

I shifted slightly and reached out to brush my hair back out of my eyes and the man in the mirror did the same. A mutilated cry escaped my throat as I sunk to the floor, eyes wide and staring deeply at my reflection. That's it, I am done with this. I shakily found my feet and went to the bathroom next to Virginia's room. I could hear the shower turn off so I returned to her room to wait for her. I smoothed out the blue and white floral bedspread that was draped across the bed unceremoniously and sat down drowning in my surroundings and the memories they triggered.

A tall armoire stood in one corner, its ornate hand carved designs still standing out amongst the numerous nicks and scratches it had gathered since it had first been made back in the 1700's. That had been one of the first pieces of furniture Virginia and I had bought after I declared independence. She had adored the intricate scenes carved and painted upon it so much that when we moved to the big house I let her have it for her room_. _

"_Alfred? You're sure you don't mind me having this?" she had asked with weariness. "Of course not, I can just get a new one if it's even needed." I replied in all seriousness. Her arms wrapped around me in a warm embrace and I kissed her forehead. With a hint of laughter I said "You're welcome."_

On the other side of the room sat a tea tray with a small white porcelain tea set on a dressing table. It used to belong to Arthur but I had stole it from him and sought out Helen so I could give it to her shortly after our first meeting. One of the tea cups had a large chip in it from when we had a tea party with Delaware and Massachusetts. Henry had been a little clumsy as a child and had a foul temper.

He thought that Mason had mentioned something about his only friend being a Cod fish because he was ignorant. Although it was more like "you only talk to your Cod fish. Stop ignoring me." Then Massachusetts lunged at Mason throwing a few punches and in the process knocked a cup of our makeshift table causing Helen to cry when she saw it was broke and because of the violent display in front of her. So me, being the eldest one there, I grabbed the two by their collars and made them apologize to Virginia. Things ran pretty smooth after that.

There was a framed portrait hung on the wall next to a large window. In it 16 faces smiled back at me each one dressed meticulously. The piece was of the first thirteen, Francis, Gilbert and I after the war was over. We had a huge party that night to thank the two Europeans for their assistance. We would not have won without it.

The day this had been painted was particularly long with France making sure everyone looked _fantastique et parfait _in their best clothes that were "inspired by designs from the country of _l'amour", _and Prussia trying to put the moves on everyone. I realized that Hungary didn't carry that pan to make eggs whenever she wanted after that. Once everyone was dressed to the tee in very uncomfortable clothes it took another hour for the painter to position us.

"Alfred?" my thoughts were interrupted by Virginia's quiet voice projecting from the doorway. I stood quickly to see her standing there in a pair of lounge pants and a t-shirt with a towel wrapped around her head absorbing the water from her hair. "Well, we obviously need to talk, huh?" I had so many things to say yet no starting point would come to mind so I was left to improvise.

Helen just nodded her head and shuffled over to the bed and gently sat down leaving a good foot and a half between us. I gave myself a moment to consider my words before speaking. "Virginia, I have always considered you as an equal, you and the rest of the thirteen." She just nodded, so far so good.

"We were only three years apart when we first met so obviously I would never be a father figure to you, more of a friend or brother. I never thought in all of our years would we experience this type of situation. We came close when Allison started up the confederacy but we still were together in a sense." I took a breath unsure of what to say for a moment.

"The past few weeks have been really difficult and I know that I'm an… idiot for not explaining everything to you guys before but I didn't know how. For almost my entire life I have had you by my side, hell, you hold half my heart, literally! And I think that my unwillingness to accept what was happening created the thought that if I didn't talk about it, it would disappear. Of course I'm wrong but I didn't want you to see me as a failure." A deep sigh erupted from the base of my chest.

Virginia blew out the breath that she apparently had withheld and scooted a little closer to me pain evident in her hazy eyes. "Alfred, dad; you're not a failure. None of the states will see you as one either. We've been together for a long, very long, time, you, me, the states; and not once have we ever lost faith in you. We always knew whatever came our way you'd protect us from. But everyone reaches their limit, no? Just look at Ally! She got mad at you because you were being overprotective so she ran off and dun took the rest of us with her. But the catch is we all came back! There's a chance we could fix ourselves and get back again." Virginia's voice had reached a pleading tone; she was not only trying to sell her argument to me but to herself.

"Do you remember that gosling Cole had found a few years ago?" Her eyes were begging me to stay on topic for both our sakes. "Yeah, the little Cana-whatever goose baby. Right?" A few springs ago Minnesota was visiting and he had found this baby goose that was all alone. It was still fairly cold outside so he brought it to our house because he didn't know what to do. So we (meaning all fifty states and I) went out and bought it a little cage with a solid floor, some soft bedding , a heat lamp, a water bowl and some meal worms and seeds.

Minnesota had never owned a pet before but always loved nature so he was overjoyed at the chance to have a pet. He raised the little goose until it was old enough to return to the wild. He had taught it to swim and fly to the best of his abilities, then reintroduced it to its flock. Every year that goose; Herb (he named it after the 1980's Olympic hockey coach who beat the Soviets) returned. Every single year that goose returned to Cole's doorstep.

Virginia nodded her head, "That bird comes back every year. He doesn't let anything prevent him from coming home either. Just like how we won't let anything tear us apart for good. We can bounce back again just like we always do." I felt the traitorous tears commence their journey at the memories Helen's words brought back and her words tugged at my heart strings.

"That would be nice. I promise you though, that I will not forget you, nor will this be last you see of me. Iggy told me that I-I could come see you all whenever… He'll take good care of you this time, I just know it. Virginia, Helen; I want you to do me a favor though and take care of the others and try to keep them out of trouble as much as you can." I didn't want to bring about false hope for myself or her but I didn't want to crush all of it because sometimes it's the only thing you have to keep you alive.

It was highly impossible that we would ever become a country again, but just because they would have different caretakers now didn't mean that they would have to remain isolated from each other. The only ones that I truly feared for were those taken by Russia. Unfortunately those were the states Helen would be unable to keep an eye on.

Virginia's eyes met mine and were steeled with resolve "I promise that I'll try my best." I wrapped my arms around her and placed my face atop her head breathing in her scent. We sat there quietly until she spoke up, "You smell. Please go take a shower." I was a little confused for moment after being taken out of my thoughts by such a random statement.

"Way to ruin the moment Helen!" I replied with a quip. She stuck out her tongue in response before standing and stretching, "Goodnight…America" Her short pause while debating what to call me did not go unnoticed but I figured she was trying to make a façade of normalcy. "Goodnight Virginia. I love you and make sure you behave for Artie." She didn't need me to tell her but I felt obligated and I preferred to think of this as the states having an extended sleepover more so than my dissolution.

I stood and walked towards the door while Virginia crawled under comforter and buried her face in her pillow. I was about to ask her how much longer she would be staying but I didn't want to disturb anyone because if she and England were here the others must be as well. Besides, I could always ask Arthur later. A door opened down the hall and Massachusetts stepped out. A part of me wanted to duck into the bathroom across the hall but the hurriedness Henry seemed to be in proved that was exactly where he was headed. Apparently, a shower and a descent night's sleep was not what fate had in store for me.


	4. The Palmetto State: South Carolina

They say time is of the essence and I don't know who this 'they' is but every word they say seems to hold some truth. Especially in those five words. When I asked England when they were leaving he had said four days. I always thought that 24 hours a day was too many but now I see it isn't enough.

Arthur had bought the thirteen colonies (save Maine.) back along with a few others so I decided to talk to them first. I had spoken to Massachusetts and Virginia the previous day so I chose to pop in on South Carolina, seeing as we had such an interesting past. I left the ''man cave," which is where I slept in last night; and walked down to the very end of the hall.

There was three doors down here and I chose the one that was to my right. Dread slowly crept into my body as I stood just outside the door of hell. Figuratively, might I add. I suppose that I was aware of the difficulty South Carolina and Texas would prove to be seeing as both were quite rebellious and it could have been possible for both of them to avoid the present situation if the past had been different. Although, the present situation itself could have been avoided had the past been different.

"Well, here goes nothing." I stated aloud with lackluster determination. To my surprise Allison wasn't in her room. It didn't look like she had even been in her room for days; dust had begun to collect on some of the objects in her room. South Carolina was always a bit eccentric and had a plethora of baubles and knick-knack's scattered about.

Her room was painted a pale blue with antique white furniture spread across the room. There was a window seat off to right side of her room sat unoccupied as did her bed but upon closer inspection I found a folded piece of stationary sitting amongst the pillows on the window seat. At first I shoved it to the back of my mind thinking nothing of it but with every step I took the more prominent the presence of the letter seemed to be.

Finally my sense of curiosity outweighed my desire to pilfer through the antiques that made up most of South Carolinas room; each one a raconteur, begging for you to listen to its story. I sat down on the window seat causing a few dust bunnies to take flight. The paper felt good in my hands and for a moment I imagined it was one of many documents that my boss needed me to authorize. My light and airy wishes soon turned to a nightmare as the parchment became a notification of dissolution. I shook my head trying to get rid of the thought.

Dear Dad,

My name was Allison. In my life I was three different people; The Province of South Carolina, South Carolina the 8th state to be admitted to the union and South Carolina of the Confederate States of America. I was always very independent like my brother Texas. I could take care of myself and my sister when she needed me and even when she didn't. When I was a little girl I was under England's rule and suffered neglect so I was split in two pieces, pieces that I had no recollection of. Everything went dark and when I awoke it felt like I was missing something and after the pain subsided I realized that feeling remained so I set out to search for my missing piece. I found you and you helped fix the hole that had been created halfway and when I was beginning to lose hope you taught me that 'Dum spiro spero'; while I breathe, I hope. I believed that to. After you came into my life and changed my world so drastically I began to concern myself less with the whims of my soul but all it did was quell my heart temporarily. Not much time had passed when you brought Jennifer home. I realized the moment you introduced us that she was the person I had been looking for. It took us half the night but after putting all the pieces together we realized we were twins separated at birth. We never would have found each other if it weren't for you so thank you daddy. Thank you for helping me grow and figure out just who I was. Thank you for helping me find my sister. As I sit here writing this I can feel me approaching death. I won't be gone for long. It'll be similar to an extended nap. This always has been how I function; I change my name, I change me. You know how they say that people with amnesia have that because they are blocking out memories of things that have hurt them? That is like what happens to me. It's partially voluntary. I wouldn't let it happen if it wasn't for the better, for life to be easier. I'm probably the only one like this but maybe not. That doesn't matter though; it's irrelevant to the purpose of this letter. I am changing already, even now as I write this I'm barely the State of South Carolina anymore. Heck, I'm barely Allison anymore. I think I am the British Province of Southern Carolina now. I'm never going to forget anything, if I want to remember it I can at anytime. Daddy I hope you're not upset about what I do… if I were you I probably would be but try to understand please. It's easier this way. Know that I'm never going to forget you or the great nation we all had formed. Thank you, for more than a life time of memories,

-Allison

Dejected, I sat down on the floor with my knees tucked up to my chin. And I thought things couldn't get worse. Who was I kidding! Apparently losing your country is not rock bottom, fate has more surprises for me; like the fact that next time I see my daughter she will not remember who I am.

I must have fallen asleep while I was in Allison's room because next thing I know it's dark outside and I am sprawled out on the floor like a drunk who fell off their bar stool. A three quarters waxing moon shone through the window silhouetting a few geometric patterns on the wall.

I slowly got to my feet after the drowsiness left my body, permitting me to stand without tripping. My eyes scanned the darkened room for any signs of life besides myself and I found only remnants of two others. In a corner near a window was a smallish Victorian style antique bird cage. A dainty perch wobbled slightly with the draft yet the cage was otherwise empty. I jumped as a bird chirped airily outside the window despite it being the middle of the night. I walked over to it and peered outside just to make sure no one was there besides myself and the plethora of inanimate objects that seemed to manifest in the shadows.

I glanced over at the bird cage and found the door was in fact, open. A single white feather lay at the bottom of the cage, its pure white plumage a symbol of peace. In this otherwise, chaotic world of darkness. My hands moved on their own accord, reaching into the cage to grab the feather, my finger encircled the soft, downy feather.

The next thing to move was my feet, which took my deftly out the door and to my room. I sunk to my knees in front of my dresser and blindly groped about for a large cigar box that I kept important keepsakes in. I finally made contact with the smooth glossy wood and slid it out. The little gold clasp flipped easily and I placed the feather in the box to remain silently until it wasted away into nothing.

The two ton suitcase of stress that had been weighing on me the past several days finally lifted slightly. For first time in the past two years the sight of my mattress looked almost appealing. I still had much more to say but for now I was going to sleep while I could.


End file.
